Avoid Burning Bridges When You Resign 🔥

In this issue:

• General overview of why you shouldn’t burn a bridge

• 4 specific reasons to think about as you resign

• 2 stories how not burning a bridge positively landed candidates offers

• 1 story of how it costed someone a potential job offer

You should always seek to avoid burning bridges when you’re handing in your resignation. You never know who you truly piss off when you burn a bridge, and that may come to haunt you down the road.

Why it matters: It takes years to build up a reputation, but only seconds to lose it. On top of that, you may intend to get back at just your direct manager, but you never know who’s watching and who you effect indirectly.

Regardless of how disgruntled you are, you should try to leave on good terms. There is literally no upside when it comes to burning a bridge. The only thing it’s good for is 5 minutes of a dopamine hit, a couple texts in your group chat with your friends, and then you’re done.

It might take a few years, but don’t be surprised if burning a bridge comes back to haunt you down the road. Especially in this type of market, we need all the help we can get and burning a bridge does nothing but shoot yourself in the foot.

Before we get into story time, here are 4 quick reasons why you shouldn’t burn a bridge 👇:

1: You never know who you truly piss off

This is the main reason why.

You may hate your boss, the owner/ceo, or just the whole damn company.

But if you burn a bridge you do nothing but harm your coworkers.

Just because you don’t like it there doesn’t mean they don’t either. And even if they don’t, maybe they have other life circumstances going on that won’t allow them to quit.

When you burn a bridge - for example in this case, giving minimal notice or knowledge transfer - you do nothing but harm them.

Chances are the manager will be fine. The CEO/Owner will certainly be fine. They’ll keep cashing their checks and making the big bucks.

The ones who are truly effected are the ones who were sitting side by side with you, scrambling to get coverage because of how you left.

2: You never know where people end up

Piggy backing off the point above, you never know where your co-workers end up.

The best way to build your professional network is by keeping in contact with old co-workers since they know you & your body of work. But if you burned a bridge, you can kiss that network goodbye.

Maybe in a bull market you wouldn’t need to have an extensive network to land a job. But the thing is, we’re not in a bull market right now. And in this type of market, we’ll need all the help we can get landing your next gig.

We can’t really do that if you pissed off (directly or indirectly) everyone you worked with.

3: Backdoor reference checks

A backdoor reference check is when you apply somewhere, and the manager from that company calls your old boss/company to talk about your performance without you knowing.

Unethical? Maybe. But it happens whether you agree with it or not, and more often than you think.

Certain circles - like agency recruiting, banking & financial services - have very small circles where everyone knows everyone.

If you work in one of these types of industries, it’ll make your job search pretty difficult without you even knowing it.

4: Mental real estate

You found another job. You won. You got what you wanted.

So why are you so hot and bothered enough to burn a bridge?

Chances are, nothing you say will change how the manager operates or how the company is run. Doesn’t matter if it’s on the exit interview with HR or if you’re talking to them directly during your resignation.

It’s not worth the mental energy to get worked up.

They won the battle, but you won the war. You got your next gig.

Tell them you found a better opportunity for growth, smile, nod, and move on with your life.

Story Time

Story #1: Prior employee get’s boomeranged back into company and lands an offer

Recently I was working a Product Manager position for X Bank. X Bank had a series of layoffs last year, and just like many other companies, the PM position was greatly effected.

The hiring manager specifically wanted to hire PM with X Bank experience. This person didn’t necessarily have to have been laid off recently, but they wanted the person to have worked there before.

We identified 3 of them fairly quickly.

One PM had a handful of references he wanted us to send in with his resume. He gave the green light for the hiring manager to call them.

The references were outstanding, the HM prioritized his application, and within 2 weeks he did 2 interviews and received an offer.

Story #2: Current contractor gets cut for budget, networks himself internally into a different group

We had a contractor at Y Bank get cut short for budget recently. He’s been there since August and his next extension was due in July. Due to budget constraints he was cut short in Jan with only a few weeks notice.

He was the only one in the group effected.

Instead of getting worked up & upset, he asked the manager to give a good reference for him since it was purely budget related & not performance, which the manager obviously agreed.

The contractor poked around and around, and eventually found a group hiring for his skillset. Interviewed once, his current manager vouched for him, and landed an offer.

Story #3: Prior employee ends up on “Do Not Rehire” list at X Bank

Certain companies have HR policies where if you violate them you’re not eligible for rehire.

One person - who lives in a decent sized city but definitely not a huge metro area - worked at Z Bank a few years ago. Z Bank is easily the biggest employer in the area by far, especially for his industry and skillset.

He left during the Zirp era covid boom giving zero notice to the manager. When I asked why he said because they never gave him the raise and promotion he thought he deserved. Why should he give notice?

He left for a startup who gave him a bigger base and a ton of equity. Obviously he was laid off given how the startup economy was last year.

Apparently another group at Z Bank he interacted with at his time there would rehire him, but since he burned a massive bridge with his previous direct team and landed on a do not rehire list, he can kiss that opportunity goodbye.

So do me a favor…

Don’t burn a bridge. It’s not worth it. If you got another job, you’ve already won. Give your 2 week’s notice, suck it up for the time being, smile and nod, and then move on with life.

Last thing you want to do is end up like the guy in story 3.

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