How To Attract A Mentor

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Everyone needs to focus on finding a mentor.

At least for me, finding mentors was the best way to put my career on the fast track to success.

They accelerated my learning curve, saved me years worth of learning through failure, and helped me politically internally within the company.

It doesn’t matter if you’re entry level, a junior candidate, a new hire, or a senior individual contributor.

Everyone can benefit from mentorship and it should be a priority for everyone to find at least one mentor to learn from.

A lot of people out there tell you why to find a mentor, but not many people tell you how.

Before we begin, let’s dive in on what not to do:

First, let’s focus on what not to do, since avoiding these mistakes will help you stand apart from the rest of the pack.

Realize this: there is a reason why you’re reaching out to this person for mentorship in the first place. They’re very good.

You don’t choose mentors, mentors choose you.

So you need to figure out a way how to attract the right mentors to you & think outside of the box, not just spam people asking to pick their brain.

So if they’re very good, chances are they’re very busy. Further, chances are other people are reaching out to them for mentorship, and they even might already be mentoring people currently.

Most people won’t get paid for this, so they are doing this free of charge, taking time out of their busy day being productive, with friends, or family to help you.

What does this mean?

• Don’t ask for something off the bat without offering anything in return

• Don’t use stupid requests like “can I pick your brain”

• Don’t bombard them when they don’t answer you

• Realize it is a privilege, not a right, to be mentored by anyone, especially the person you are reaching out to

So you’re probably wondering why how you find a mentor then, right?

Here’s how I did it and what worked for me 👇:

1: I put in the time and effort

Before I reached out to anyone, I made for damn sure everyone knew I was willing to be the hardest worker in the room.

They saw I was putting in the work and doing my very damn best to be successful.

Day in and day out I was the first person in the office and the last person to leave.

So they noticed this and slowly but surely whenever I asked them questions and for help they were willing to lend me a hand.

Let’s take Kobe Bryant for example. For those of you that don’t know, I’m a huge basketball fan (Go Knicks!), and one of my favorite players of all time is Kobe.

He’s not willing to mentor any schmuck who asks for help regardless if they’re a teammate or not.

But if you show up to the gym at 5am like he did, you’ll get to workout with him.

That was the mindset I had.

2: Don’t just ask, give

I would offer to take these seniors out to lunch, coffee, a drink after work. Even as a broke recent grad on my $35k starting salary, I would cover the tab just because I knew the ROI would be 1000x that by gaining their knowledge.

So instead of asking to sit them down in a conference room, I wanted to take them to a neutral setting where they would feel more comfortable and relaxed, where a relationship could be built more naturally vs. just a regular corporate setting.

I’d bring my laptop, they’d help me with cold emails, dealing with prospects, clients, reviewing resumes, and everything in between.

Although a $50 lunch tab is expensive for a broke dude making only $35k, just one placement can net you $5,000, so the ROI was definitely worth it.

3: Follow up on their advice and give updates

Most people just do this: They ask for advice. Somehow, they get it. Then they go dark (likely implement that advice, successfully or unsuccessfully). The mentor in question doesn’t hear from them again. Then, suddenly, when the potential mentee needs help again, they reach out.

In other words, they only reach out when they need something.

Yea, don’t do this.

When you take their advice, actually implement it. And let them know your progress. This achieves 3 things:

1. That you’re actually listening to them which they’ll appreciate

2. Any constructive criticism while you’re implementing said advice to make sure you’re actually doing it correctly

3. Keeps the line of communication going to keep building that relationship and trust

4: Build a genuine relationship

With my mentors, it wasn’t just about work. We eventually got to the point where we cared about each other’s lives.

My 3 biggest mentors came to my wedding. We regularly go out to dinner to this day, not just to talk shop, but just to banter and catch up on life in general.

We know everything about each other’s kids, spouses, interests, etc.

In other words, build a genuine relationship, not just a transactional one.

5: Find a way to be interesting

At the end of the day, I wanted to focus on attracting these mentors to me, not just seeking out to them.

I figured everyone in our office, let alone the entire company, wanted to reach out to them to learn best practices.

So what would stand me apart?

After I made the impression I was a hard worker, and after a couple times they helped me with advice, I started sending them weekly updates on my progress.

What my activity looked like for the week, what my wins (and losses) were, and any and all progress being made.

They didn’t answer every single time. But over time, as they saw my progress improving, they started chiming in on some bits of advice. Eventually they said they looked forward to receiving my emails every week because after a few back and forths they were invested in it.

This definitely went a longer way than just asking “Can I pick your brain” every day until they answered me.

How this applied in real life

1: Two Sales Pros

If anyone reading this is in sales, you know especially how hard it is to grab the attention of top sales reps to mentor you.

We are purely motivated by money. We do not get paid to help our teammates. So very rarely do you get to receive mentorship from the best in the company.

But two of these folks were just flat out impressed by my work ethic and pure desire to be one of the best like them.

They saw I was putting in the work day in and day out. They saw that I wasn’t just money motivated, but I had a fire in my belly to become one of the best in the industry, and that I was in this for the long haul.

It started out by asking a quick question and popping over their desk or via work chat. Any advice they gave me I put into action immediately and let them know the result. They either applauded it, or if I messed it up, gave me solid constructive criticism.

From there, I started taking them out to coffee chats & lunches and our relationship grew from there.

The main differentiating factor was this: I didn’t immediately ask for anything. They saw me being in the office first, leaving last, and just the locked in focus I had to succeed. They knew I was going to get there eventually - just a matter of when - so they weren’t going to waste their time with me.

And when I did ask for something where I needed to sit them down for 15-30 minutes - they either got a free coffee, meal, or drink out of it. So they always got something in return.

2: VP of Sales

The benefit of being mentored by two top/senior performers isn’t just by improving your performance, but it also gives you political equity.

Chances are senior folks have more facetime with management, and the better relationships you have with the seniors, the more likely you’ll build a good relationships with management.

I was fortunate enough to work in HQ during this time, so upper management and the c-suite were also in the office. They did also see me as first one in/last one out all the time, but that’s not enough to get their attention.

As my performance grew - rapidly - they started to take notice. They asked those 2 seniors I mentioned above about me, and then they reached out to me about my success.

I’m going to repeat that again: they reached out to me about my success.

I did not reach out to them.

I gave my mentors all the merits and credit, not only because they deserved it, but to show them I’m humble, grounded, and a team player.

As my success accelerated, I built a relationship with them, they gave me tips and advice, I followed up on it and let them know the progress similar to the seniors.

Eventually, my credibility grew so much with them that I was able to bubble up problems and issues along with solutions and they put those into practice.

3: President & Chairman

This is just about as high as it gets for any company.

He saw my billings rocket like a meteor, so one day, he popped by my desk and asked me to lunch.

Notice how he was the one who came to me?

So we went. Similar to the VP, he asked me what I was doing and I credited the mentors and VP on my success and that I wouldn’t have gotten here, at least so quickly, without there mentorship.

He asked me what the difference was between me and everyone else.

I still remember my response to this day.

“Simply put, I put in the work and I’m coachable.”

He smiled.

“I figure out ways from my mentors to work smarter, be efficient, and save time. The time I save, I re-invest back into working. On top of that, I love criticism. If someone who’s been doing this longer and better than me has something to critique, why wouldn’t I listen? Everyone else gets offended. I cherish it”.

He loved it. We regularly exchanged texts and emails about once or twice a month on my progress.

Eventually, he pinged me (along with the VP) on ideas on how to make the company grow, and I helped implemented some drastic changes to help make the company leaner and efficient.

…..

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